I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
