kristin has been a bad kristin
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
