how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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