Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
