Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize