He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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