I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
