I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today