she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”