Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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