No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
3 2 1 whiskey
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
