I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
