matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
