'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
