She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
BRING THE BAGELS
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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