No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
