I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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