Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
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