the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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