Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
