We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
