I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
