Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
