i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
