He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
