So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
God I need to hump something, right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
