It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
