Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
