While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
