So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
