so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize