You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
