Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
