Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
