Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
