So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Dignity is for republicans.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
