i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
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