I want to have your abortion
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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