tell your sister to shave her snatch
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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