it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
