Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize