Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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