if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
