I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
