So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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