He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
