My nipple is on Facebook.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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