dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
