WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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