hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
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