Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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