barbara walters just said penis...
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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