I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
