so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
