spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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