Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
