i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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