My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
