Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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