What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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