So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
