put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
