can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think my nap took me to another dimension
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
my poor anus
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
