I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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