areolas are like halos for boobs.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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