Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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